Who is Afraid of a Feminist?

I have noticed, recently, that there is a lot of women (especially celebrities) deciding they need to declare whether they are a feminist or not. Those who choose to identify as ‘feminist’ always go on to defend their choice and address the use of the word. Those who, like Lana Del Rey, say they are not a feminist, do not defend their choice. She does go on about space though, which seems irrelevant.

And so, here is my problem: why are these women afraid to call themselves feminists? And how can a woman not be a feminist? From what I have seen, the women who do not identify as feminist are generally uneducated about feminism and feminist history. This also disturbs me. As a woman, we should do our best to know how we got to this point. We should know that our equal rights are actually really new, and that we still have a long way to go. It frustrates me that women think that we are ‘done’, that we have the same rights as men and now we can sit back and enjoy them. I’ve never heard such bullshit in my life.

Saying that you are not a feminist is just declaring that you are comfortable with your subordination, your objectification and you are happy to be ignorant. And maybe ignorance makes you happy, but it harms the rest of us women. We actually care about each other. We want to learn more about how to change standards and laws so that we can enjoy our freedom.

The issues surrounding feminism are far more complex than most people believe them to be. The most important thing for women to do is be educated. I don’t mean you have to go to university and get a degree, I mean learn about the history of women’s suffering, learn about how women are suffering all over the world right now. Learn how to help. And also, learn that FEMINIST is not a dirty word. Feminists aren’t man-haters, you don’t have to shave your head or anything. You have to be you, and be a feminist.

We’re all just Peter Pan, who never made it to Neverland.

My generation is so immature. I am, my friends are, my peers are. We all are. I’m not saying we are all bad people. Some of us are. Some of us are just scared. But our generation isn’t growing up as fast as the ones before it.
I don’t know if it matters though. We all feel like if we grow up we’ll get stuck and have to be that way for the rest of our lives. We want to do things but not work for it, because we’ve been shown that it’s possible. But it’s not realistic. We want to have things but we have no money. The people who do have money aren’t doing the right things.

The whole big group of us are so damaged and selfish. We don’t know what to do when things don’t work out because we believe things are always supposed to work out. We like all these things and we don’t know why, but someone made us feel that those things were cool. But being cool has become increasingly lame. And now being lame is cool. Which seems redundant. But we don’t realize it. We think we are so individual yet we all do the same things. We all want to be happy but we forget that it’s an empty word. And we can’t be content because once we are we want more.
I will always want more, and I will always want it to be handed to me. I don’t want to work for it and when I do work for it I want a gold sticker so I feel like I accomplished something.

I haven’t accomplished anything and yet I am so proud of myself.
Our egos are fed by our failures. Our narcissism is promoted by our need to acquire.

But no matter how wise I think I am, or how fun I try to be. I am a child in an adults body.

I am the nightmare of every old persons life. I’m the thing every parent hopes their kid is not. And so are you.

Even death is a competition

We try so desperately hard to be interesting. Some people go out every weekend so they can promise they never missed a party, some read every book and see every movie so they always have something to talk about. None of that is interesting, most people don’t find anything interesting but themselves. A massive tragedy could happen and half the population wishes they were part of it so they could get the attention, the others try to have the most meaningful sympathy. Even death is a competition.
But what for? You can walk around believing you are different, you’re special and you don’t fit in, but do you like what you do? Do you enjoy your life?
What does it matter how interesting and important you are if no one really cares? Because I promise you they don’t. We are all wound up so tightly inside ourselves that if someone else really is interesting, well, we have no idea because we are trying to be more interesting, more fun and more successful. What could be more boring than that?
If you like to sit at home and drink wine while watching Mad Men, do that. If you like to watch bad Hollywood movies just do it, don’t hide it or apologize for it. If you want to see the world and go broke doing it at least you’ll have fond memories. No one every became truly joyful by trying to hard for something they don’t love.
No one was ever proud of themselves for being a fake.
So love reading Stephanie Myers books even if it means that people will think you’re sad and stupid, run around the block a hundred times and then eat a pound of ice cream and believe it counts. Who cares? Who really, honestly cares?
Do only the things that make you feel fulfilled, the things that make you who you are. If it means you’re weird it just means you’re doing it right.
My dad told me being strange makes the day go faster. I believe it, you aren’t so caught up in other peoples shit. Being selfish doesn’t have to be a bad thing. If it makes you feel like you can die happy then why not do it?
Dye your hair different colours until it falls out (then wear fabulous wigs) but do not ever apologize for the fact that you are impatient and in constant need of change. Wear to much make up, watch bad tv, but don’t ever pretend to be someone you aren’t.
I can’t imagine a more boring person than the person who tries to tries oh so hard to be interesting.

Female Friendship

When it comes to friends, we take them for granted, not in the sense that we take advantage of what they offer us but more in the sense that we get to have them. This is especially true for women.
I have the good fortune of being able to study literature at a fantastic liberal arts college. What I have learned in the past two years both in and out of the classroom is that female friendship is rare and valuable. I’ve learned that female friendship is a relatively new thing. While reading Shakespeare or Aphra Behn or Elizabeth Cary I have come to notice the absence of female relationships in the works of authors of these times. And as you read into the 18th and 19th centuries you can begin to see the development of stronger and more meaningful relationships between mothers and daughters, sisters or just female friends. We as women often take this privilege for granted.
Imagine a time where you and your sister had to be rivals for a husband, or your mother passes you off to a nurse to be raised and a tutor to teach you. In this age we are allowed to be best friends with our sisters and share our feelings with our mothers who raised us. We can make deep and meaningful friendships with the girls we meet in school or through our interests.
Sometimes the most beautiful love in the world is the one of friends. They are people who have no blood connection to you but value your opinion and champion your cause. They make you feel stronger when you feel utterly useless.
We didn’t see these relationships between women really come to form in literature until female authors became more prominent. Jane Austen actually depicted friendships between sisters in Sense and Sensibility as well as Pride and Prejudice, these relationships may not be perfect but it is their complexity that makes them real and relatable. These friendships are what feminism is really founded on, the idea that women communicate and empower each other. We see it a lot in African American women’s fiction: The Color Purple is an example of women finding their voice and power by coming together and forming relationships, Toni Morrison does the same in Beloved.
We are so lucky to be able to find true female friends and make connections with our sisters that can make us feel more ourself or help us find ourself. We cannot forget where this privilege came from, we should always value it.

Eplans.com- Amazing house plans

Eplans.com- Amazing house plans

I have become addicted to this. I found the site through Pinterest and cannot stop browsing; apparently I like houses. 

There is a customized search menu where you can pick custom options for what kinds of houses and plans you want to see. It is great if you are planning to build a house but also if you are looking for houses because you get an idea for what you like and dislike. Or if you have ideas you can see how it all will lay out in the end. 

They have so many styles. Personally, I really like Farmhouse and cottages, but I especially like the Gothic/Victorian styles. I also love the idea of having a study on the main floor. 

Check it out, it is really so neat!

 

 

Adventure!

Adventure-Read Tom Mahood’s Site

I was reading this guy’s site with my boyfriend for HOURS. Tom Mahood has gone on some interesting expeditions and wrote about them. We literally sat there and read them trying to speculate as we went along what could have happened to the people. We got through all of the search and rescue part of his site, the search for the German family is long but fantastic  and the one for Bill Ewasko leaves so much mystery.

I am going to delve into the other sections, possibly archaeology first. You really have to read one to understand why they are addictive.

A couple months ago my boyfriend found a story, not from Tom Mahood, but something like these. It was about a man who died on an Australian beach very mysteriously. Nobody would admit to knowing him, and it seemed he was a secret agent. It was a crazy story but it was what got me so addicted to finding out about mysterious deaths and disappearances.

Take a look at Toms page, I’m sure you’ll find something really cool. He’s a pretty amazing guy.

Music Snobs

Listening to music is so much better when you’re alone. People will only criticize and degrade what you like; myself included. We all do it, we all are critical of music, and we should be. Not criticizing means you aren’t listening close enough. 

We can all admit that the mainstream music that is popular today is catchy, but we all know they aren’t the most wonderfully crafted music. Not to say it is all bad, or all poorly written, produced or whatever. But a lot of it is made simply to be catchy. 

Appreciating the smaller artists is different, they tend to be more original and more experimental. But the thing that all music centers around the same topics; love, betrayal, revenge, pain, politics, society and so on. No matter the genre or the level of popularity these similar themes are important. 

Music fans have got so snobby and picky that they are missing out on things because of the genre label or who the artist is. I may not be a fan of Taylor Swift but that’s just personal taste, I do like other people like her who sing about similar things. 

I am more appreciative of the effort put into the music than the label put on it. 

Pieces of Soul

I love to read, what I love more is a book you’re never done with. There is some sort of feeling that creeps out of your soul when you see a book you have read before and you would read over and over. 

It’s a book where you always discover something new, you read it differently each time. Each time it teaches you something new, illuminates a part of you. 

Every time you go back into that book you fall in love with the characters all over again. It’s like driving through a town you haven’t seen in years, it all floods back but in a different way. You are a different person than you were the last time you read it. 

You can always look at it and remember, and nostalgia is a great teacher. Books can be monuments to your past, they show you who you were and how far you’ve come. Re-reading a great book will show you what you are and where to go next. 

Sometimes they remind you of what not to return to. They show you that you cannot be the same and you are constantly evolving. 

Anyone who reads, who truly reads, knows this. Books are not simply entertainments but pieces of someone else’s soul exposed on paper, ready for you to pour yours into it. Constantly returning to a book means someones soul has stuck with you. You get to relive it again. 

Shakespeare Slang- For International Book Day

Ah yes, Shakespeare. Many associate him with the confusing play’s you had to read in high school and mostly just didn’t understand.
But, for old school book nerds such as myself, he is complicated in a different way.
Many academics who study Shakespeare are divided on the authenticity of his plays. Of course, we can see that a lot of his plots and characters are influenced by other writers work, but I think it is safe to say that this is true of almost every writer. We all rip off some idea whether we know it or not. Just because you don’t remember hearing the story before doesn’t mean you haven’t.
So many want to discredit Willy just because he was such a great figure, it would be so nice to chalk his success up to stealing someone else’s work or whatever it is that these people try to prove.
The fact is, Shakespeare did come up with some interesting original words, phrases and terms that we recognize still today. Perhaps he wasn’t always the most original plot-wise, but his vocabulary is stellar.
Since it is International Book Day, lets show some love for the Bard ok?

It Can Never Make Sense

The terror that our world faces is inexplicable, there is no way to rationalize or understand it. But, fix it?

We have global warming, we have natural disasters, we have cancer, heart disease, diabetes, we have famine, HIV/AIDS, we have wars for civil rights, we have car accidents, people drowning, plane crashes and so much more. Why, for any reason at all, why do we have terrorism?

Why do people walk into schools and shoot other people? Why do planes get flown into buildings? Why do bombs go off at events?

Because of people. People do this, in their right minds or not. 

This just shows us that not only our nation but our world needs to take better care of the people’s mental health. We need to stop using religion as an excuse to kill, stop making excuses about behaviour and just help people. If we can help people sooner rather than later then maybe some of these horrendous acts would not happen. 

Maybe if we had better prison systems this would change. Yes, murderers, rapists, pedophiles, and those types of people should sit in a cell for the rest of their life. But the other guys? They need to be rehabilitated so that when they are put back on the street they don’t commit other, higher crimes. 

We wonder why these terrible things are happening, it is because the people in charge, for centuries have allowed it to happen. 

You think you can’t change what people have done for centuries before us? Have you ever tried?

We need to stop living in an every-man-for-themselves society and create a community of people, a network. Why the hell do we have social networking if we don’t learn to use it for good? 

This is madness, and people created it. So people can stop it.